Voting is now closed, and I have to say that I’m blown away by how well these polls were supported – we took just short of 9 000 votes! Thank you for throwing yourselves into this, it makes it all worth it.
I had a lot of fun writing the polls, and I hope you guys had as much fun voting and commenting.
A big thankyou to the forum mods – VikingLover, Serena, Dazed and ilovevampires for their suggestions and input into the poll options. It’s not easy relying on just one memory to recall every detail over 12 episodes!
No doubt we’ll all relapse again next year and find ourselves back in rehab – but until then, enjoy the results from the final week after the jump!
Choosing a short list of great scenes from season 3 isn’t a small task! In choosing for this poll, I’ve tried to include scenes that were either quintessential True Blood, or else gave specific, valuable insight into the characters or a particular plot line. I know lots more scenes could have been included, feel free to expand on your faves in the comments!
This is the final poll in Rehab for Rabids – Season 3. Results will be posted for week two soon.
A. RUSSELL LOSES IT ON THE NEWS
Why it makes the list: For sheer, over the top insanity you just have to hand it to this show. We were still trying to reconnect our jaws to our faces the next day, and Denis O’Hare was absolutely PERFECT.
B. FRANKLIN FINDS THE DOSSIER
Why it makes the list: The first solid evidence that half the fandom were NOT insane book freaks, this bone came early in the season and was perfectly timed. Had we been forced to sit through yet another season of subtle hints and innuendo about why the HELL Bill was in Bon Temps, I don’t think I’d be sitting here now. One of my worst fears was seeing this dragged out for five seasons; fortunately the torture is over.
Tell me you didn’t jump out of your chair and scream your fool head off when you saw this little file of sin, lovingly scrawled in Bill’s own hand, no less?
C. ERIC WALKS IN THE SUN
Why it makes the list: An old and powerful vampire sees the sun for the first time in 1000 years. Do we need any more reasons?
D. THE RATTRAY REVEAL
Why it makes the list: Two words – PAY DIRT. (Or eat dirt, if you’re Bill).
E. BILL AND LORENA’S TWISTY SEX
Why it makes the list: See point A. Over the top, jaw-dropping and completely insane – True Blood at its best. Oh, and also because unlike the book setup, Bill was not compelled to engage in nasty carnal acts with Lorena – yet he did it anyway. Never let it be said that we book fans hate on everything Alan Ball does with this show, I could have kissed his bare backside for this.
F. ERIC’S FANTASY
Why it makes the list: We’ve raked over this one quite a bit already, but in a nutshell – it’s was gratifying to have proof that Eric’s interest in Sookie comes from a genuine place. I’m sick of hearing that he only wants her for political advantage, as a sex-toy, or “because Bill has her”.
G. SOOKIE GIVES ERIC BLOOD
Why it makes the list: Sookie used her brain twice in three minutes! Not only did she save Eric, but she slapped Bill. After having been drained by another injured vampire only days before, she placed remarkable trust in Eric by allowing him to feed from her – and we were furnished with MORE evidence (as if any were needed by this point) that Bill is lying when he says no other vampire could control themselves around his personal crack dispenser.
H. BILL PROCURES DESTINY
Why it makes the list: Let me be clear – I’m at a point with True Blood Bill where I can barely stand to watch him, and find myself literally unable to remain seated in my chair with my mouth closed whenever he is on screen.
Yet I find this scene mesmerising. The atmosphere of the club, the dialogue, the music – every element just came together, and it was beautifully acted by Stephen Moyer and Jade Tailor. Watching Bill slip into the role of procurer like a pair of comfy old shoes as he must have done many, many times during his lengthy tenure with Sophie-Anne was fascinating; his conversation with Destiny incredibly sad and revealing.
I. JESSICA AND HOYT PLAY BILL AND SOOKIE
Why it makes the list: I have a personal boner for this scene – one of many in the later part of the season that saw me go from almost quitting this show in July, to being back on board with all my bells and whistles (and booze) in tow. Appearing in the episode titled “I Smell a Rat”, Jessica and Hoyt’s play-by-play of the night Bill first gave Sookie his blood left me completely speechless. Combined with repeated mentions of that fateful evening peppered through the season, the matter of The Rattray Incident coming back to bite one Bill Compton was no longer a question of IF – but WHEN.
The TB writers have become rather fond of this little plot device – compiling this poll made me realise just how much they have come to rely on it. Some scenes have had to be canned – there were just too many! Sorry if I ditched your favourite, I was running out of alphabet.
A. Sam – The Water is HARD in Arkansas
B. Lafayette and Jesus – Day Trippers
C. Eric – Vampires Just Want to Be Loved
D. Sookie – Sweet Dreams are Made of This
E. Jason – Look! There’s Jason’s Ass…again.
F. Eric – May the Force Be With You
G. Bill – Paging MY HUMANITAY!?
H. Jason – Bullet Holes are Boner Killers
I. Eric – Viking Prince, in Service of Servant Girls Everywhere
J. Tara – We REALLY Should Have Seen That Creepy B/S Shower Coming…
K. Sam – 90′s Bad Boy to the Extreme, YO.
L. Eric – ZOMG! HE EVEN LOOKS HOT IN A NAZI UNIFORM, WTF?!
M. Sam – Betcha Didn’t Know I’m Really a Drunk Asshole! Surprise, Bitches!
This poll is reserved for scenes during which all parties are fully cognizant! Dream sequences will be included in a later poll.
A. A SEX BOMB DETONATES IN THE DUNGEON OF DOOM
In one of the season’s first scenes Sookie barrels into Fangtasia, insults Pam, and heads straight for the dungeon — where Eric surely has her soon-to-be-husband chained up because…well, because he’s Eric and he’s eeeevil and that’s just the type of shit he’d pull.
Instead of the expected cello-filled reunion with her fine Southern Gent, Sookie finds Eric and the hired help…all naked, sweaty and bound. He and Yvetta are having a pumping good time yet Eric doesn’t seem to mind this unplanned coitus interruptus, handing him as it does a nice clean shot at Bill’s snuff. Speaking of clear shots, Sookie certainly doesn’t seem to mind getting one at Eric’s Gracious Plenty, either. Oh we know you tried to look completely disgusted, Sookie. BUT WE SAW YOU LOOKING.
B. OPERATION “MOVE ALONG NOW, BILL” SHIFTS INTO HIGH GEAR
Sookie returns to Fangtasia, waving a drink coaster with weird runes on it under Eric’s unimpressed nose and bleating some more about saving her increasingly irritating “boyfriend”. Never mind Eric, we don’t care where he is either.
In an attempt to get Sookie to calm the hell down and use her head, he unwittingly offers himself (and those feelings that he really DOESN’T have, dammit) to her on a non-silver platter.
C. BOOK ERIC, MEET BOOK SOOKIE
Two seasons of wondering whether we’d ever see Book Eric and Sookie while both of them were actually awake and in the same room, were rewarded when Ball finally decided to cough it up in episode 2.
After lying to Sookie at Fangtasia about his knowledge of were’s, Eric’s conscience grabs him firmly by the boy bits and leads him straight to Sookie’s front door – where he openly admits to his tiny falsehood and explains to Sookie the true nature of the threat she is facing. Sookie, intrigued and somewhat flattered at being treated like a Big Girl for a change immediately begins cocking her head, batting her lashes and twirling her hair. Book Eric sees nothing but green lights and seizes his opportunity with this:
“You are going to invite me in so I can protect you. Or have passionate primal sex with you. How about both?”
Excuse us while we retrieve our underpants from our ankles. NO IDEA how they ended up there.
Shameless two-way flirting ensues until Eric hears a noise, causing him to nail Sookie against the wall like the BAMF that he is and demand an invitation to her house – NOW.
Sookie meekly issues the requested invitation, laying the double-entendre on with a trowel and proving once and for all that Mr Northman comes in whenever he goddamn pleases.
D. ERIC WETS OUR SOOKIE’S RUG
After being granted entry to the Stackhouse abode by a hot and obviously bothered Sookie, Eric picks a fight with the skanky looking Were lurking inside (did he escape from Hotshot, or what? Eeeww).
Cue Book Eric and Sookie – again! Sookie shoots the were with Terry Bellefleur’s gun. Eric jumps into the path of the bullet and takes it in the gut, grabs the were and proceeds to interrogate his creepy ass before ripping his throat out and delivering dead-pan the line that near killed us all:
“I got your rug all wet”.
E. DEAD BODY DUMP #1
Offing supes and disposing of their messy remains is a task that Book Eric and Sookie excel at, so this scene warmed the cockles of my book-lovin’ heart. It made me happy to see them bonding this way. I know this is sick. What can I say?
Eric silently fills in the hole containing aforementioned dead were, while Sookie stands around taking notes and running her mouth at him on various topics – pausing only to make an innocent enquiry about the state of his recently sustained bullet hole.
Sweet Sookie, you just walked right into that one and I can’t help thinking it wasn’t half deliberate – given your recent experience of “curing” vampire shrapnel wounds. Never mind Eric, something tells me the next time she shoots you she won’t be so pissy about puckering up.
F. SCARLETT AND RHETT
In a Gone with the Wind moment that brought to mind Book Sookie’s musings on her favourite romance, Eric got to do what 98% of viewers had been itching to do for most of the season – shove a hand over Sookie’s mouth to plug up the near constant outpouring of sheer stupidity. Shut up please Scarlett Sookie, we need to think – and WE REALLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN about Bill right now.
G. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT…AND WAIT SOME MORE
In a neat parallel with Episode 2.10 – which saw Sookie dream about kissing a grief-stricken Eric after the death of his maker, 3.10 brought us Sookie kissing that Viking FOR REALZ as he faced his own death. The same song, “Eric’s Grief”, played over both scenes. Symmetry is a beautiful thing.
We’ve waited a long time for this kiss – a full season longer than the books dictated – and I do not intend getting hung up on symbolism. Someone please, just hang me up on those HUGE VIKING HANDS. The shoulder pulling, the hair grabbing, the tongue stroking…Eric and Sookie’s first real kiss was passionate, emotionally raw, and hot as hell. This was so worth the wait.
H. VAMPIRE CRACK…NOT ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE
I have mixed feelings about this scene but Eric’s first taste of Sookie is a pivotal moment, so here it is. I never wanted to see Eric drink from Sookie for the first time under duress, nor for Sookie to be so obviously terrified and distressed while it happened. On the other hand, the fact that the show held this over longer than the books – and chose to play it so that Eric didn’t drink from her until he was forced to – adds an interesting twist to the motivations of his character.
Eric’s obvious displeasure at being forced to bite Sookie against both her will and his own and his furtive, silent attempts to comfort her as he did so made this scene far less traumatic for us to sit through than it could have been.
I. THE TRUTH HURTS
Eric and Sookie’s final scene of the season comes as a devastated Sookie throws Bill out on his deserving, lying backside and rescinds both both vampires invitations to her home.
While Bill suffered the humiliation of eating a face-full of dirt after flying out the front door sans dignity, Eric managed to vampire himself all up close and personal to have the last word. In spite of Sookie’s best efforts to swear him back to the hell he came from, Eric makes an honest and no-excuses apology. He is sorry for the pain his revelations have caused her, but he thought she deserved the truth.
Whoa! Stop right there, what’s going on? Sookie is served up a dose of cold hard facts by a vampire who knows the truth hurts – and that hearing it will not break her, but strengthen her? Let’s hope this is the beginning of a trend.
J. BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO
I’m not sure what I liked best about Sookie saving Eric from himself – the fact that she smacked Bill in the mouth the second her eyes opened; her scathing abuse when he attempted to stop her from going outside; or the way she twisted the knife further into Bill’s guts by demanding that he be the one to open her wrist.
On the morality scale, this would be about the equivalent of asking your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend to spot you a condom so that you can screw his arch nemesis. Mean Sookie, FTW!
Jokes aside, even though Sookie knew both Eric and Bill were involved in letting Russell drink her, she slapped Bill’s face and saved Eric’s ass without even bothering to ask either of them for an explanation. This makes me happy.
VOTING IS CLOSED
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A. JOE LEE: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WASH YOUR UNDERPANTS!
There’s nothing I can say about Joe-Lee and his underpants that hasn’t already been said.
B. BILL: THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WEAR A TRACKSUIT, BILL.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. We can only assume this monstrosity is Bill’s attempt to hijack the look that has made Sookie and millions of fangirls reconsider their low opinion of tracksuits as a fashion option.
Bill, you will never EVER pull off a tracksuit like Eric can. Please do us all a favour, and put that disgusting thing back where you found it.
C. ALCIDE: FLANNEL IS NO WAY TO WIN A LADY
It seemed such a shame to hide that gloriously sculpted body underneath shapeless, dowdy flannel for most of the season. I don’t know why they are wasting money on clothes for this man, let alone such ugly clothes as these.
And yes, I know that Alcide is working class, which makes flannel an appropriate choice. But “appropriate” does not equate to fashionable.
D. SOOKIE: TRASHTASTIC HOOKER WITHOUT A CLUE
The short dark hair was fine, but the rest? It was a cute nod to the tacky-beyond-belief outfit that Sookie wore in this scene in the book, though. I am actually kind of grateful we weren’t subjected to the red mini-dress with detachable sleeves monstrosity – my imaginary version is quite horrifying enough thank you, though this one comes a very close second.
E. DEBBIE PELT: DOES THIS EVEN QUALIFY AS AN OUTFIT?
Not sure whether scraps of fabric actually qualify as an outfit- and they are certainly NOT appropriate attire for the rather robust activity of crowd surfing.
F. BILL: IT’S THE…SECOND COMING? WTF?
WHAT WAS THIS? I’m still trying to get my head around it….all I know for SURE is that the obvious comparisons between Bill, Jesus Christ and Godric being drawn in this sequence are definitely NOT meant to be taken literally. I can only conclude that this fuckery was a peek inside Bill’s own twisted perception of himself.
G. SOOKIE: STAY OUT OF YOUR BROTHER’S CLOSET!
This “Bon Temps Football” t-shirt is something you would wear to bed. At a stretch, you might wear it outside to do the gardening.
Sookie dear, we do not wear such eye-sores in public.