A. JOE LEE: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WASH YOUR UNDERPANTS!
There’s nothing I can say about Joe-Lee and his underpants that hasn’t already been said.
B. BILL: THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WEAR A TRACKSUIT, BILL.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. We can only assume this monstrosity is Bill’s attempt to hijack the look that has made Sookie and millions of fangirls reconsider their low opinion of tracksuits as a fashion option.
Bill, you will never EVER pull off a tracksuit like Eric can. Please do us all a favour, and put that disgusting thing back where you found it.
C. ALCIDE: FLANNEL IS NO WAY TO WIN A LADY
It seemed such a shame to hide that gloriously sculpted body underneath shapeless, dowdy flannel for most of the season. I don’t know why they are wasting money on clothes for this man, let alone such ugly clothes as these.
And yes, I know that Alcide is working class, which makes flannel an appropriate choice. But “appropriate” does not equate to fashionable.
D. SOOKIE: TRASHTASTIC HOOKER WITHOUT A CLUE
The short dark hair was fine, but the rest? It was a cute nod to the tacky-beyond-belief outfit that Sookie wore in this scene in the book, though. I am actually kind of grateful we weren’t subjected to the red mini-dress with detachable sleeves monstrosity – my imaginary version is quite horrifying enough thank you, though this one comes a very close second.
E. DEBBIE PELT: DOES THIS EVEN QUALIFY AS AN OUTFIT?
Not sure whether scraps of fabric actually qualify as an outfit- and they are certainly NOT appropriate attire for the rather robust activity of crowd surfing.
F. BILL: IT’S THE…SECOND COMING? WTF?
WHAT WAS THIS? I’m still trying to get my head around it….all I know for SURE is that the obvious comparisons between Bill, Jesus Christ and Godric being drawn in this sequence are definitely NOT meant to be taken literally. I can only conclude that this fuckery was a peek inside Bill’s own twisted perception of himself.
G. SOOKIE: STAY OUT OF YOUR BROTHER’S CLOSET!
This “Bon Temps Football” t-shirt is something you would wear to bed. At a stretch, you might wear it outside to do the gardening.