Gratuitous Nudity and…Chocolate Sauce?

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock with no internet for the last few hours, here’s the cover of the September edition of Rolling Stone.

You all know that I’m up for some Skarsporn any way you want to serve it up. But there’s something about this cover that is…well…I’m loathe to say TURNED OFF and Skars in the same sentence.

But there you have it.

Coming so soon after episodes showing Sookie drained, near dead and drenched in her own blood – at the hands of the character who is groping her titty in this photo, no less – I’m really having trouble with this image and the insinuation that I’m supposed to find it somehow sexy and titillating. In the last three episodes we’ve seen Sookie violently attacked and drained by Bill, a dark and angry screw between them during which they had their hands around eachother’s throats, and Bill having some sort of bizzare sexual communion with Sookie’s blood in the shower. After all that has gone down between Sookie and Bill in the last few episodes, this cover seems really poorly timed and ill-thought out. And not even a naked Skars can save it for me (someone please check my pulse, I may be dead).

Of course, much depends on their original intention. It may well be that squicked out was the reaction they were trying to raise. In which case, I’d say it’s a resounding success.

This image also appears with the article.


Source: fuckyeahtrublood tumblr

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70 comments to Gratuitous Nudity and…Chocolate Sauce?

  • Gigi

    I just found it minites ago in the RS website, and I also have the same impression you had…

    [Reply]

    Gigi Reply:

    **minutes

    [Reply]

  • I’m personally just ignoring the other two in the image… that just doesn’t work for me. I’m looking at Alex like Eric in the last episode after his encounter with Talbot :)

    [Reply]

  • Sara

    I totally agree with you and am so glad to know I’m not the only one that feels this way. After seeing posts from people saying how sexy the picture is I thought was going crazy. The only good thing about this picture is ASkars abs, everything else bothers me (is it just me or does his head/hair look weird?). Thanks for keeping it honest.

    [Reply]

  • My first reaction was “Bloody Brilliant!” But over the course of a few hours, I’ve come to the same conclusion as SVB. The second image, however, I really like ‘cos Alex reminds me of Book Eric — with his head on Sookie’s head, connected with her, but also looking out for her.

    [Reply]

    SVB Reply:

    I like the second image too :)

    [Reply]

    Gigi Reply:

    At least they accomplished to make a picture where Moyer looks taller than Alex..

    [Reply]

  • Rhiannon

    Sorry, but I think you’re over-analyzing it. Stand alone, it’s a great and sexy photo of the 3 main characters. Of course, my eyes mainly stay on Alex and Anna and barely glance over at Stephen LOL

    [Reply]

    SVB Reply:

    It’s not an analysis Rhiannon.

    It was purely a gut reaction. It wasn’t something I even needed to sit down and think about.

    My first reaction to this wasn’t to see it as a sexual image. Yours is, and that’s ok.

    [Reply]

  • Skarlove

    SVB wrote “After all that has gone down between Sookie and Bill in the last few episodes, this cover seems really poorly timed and ill-thought out.”

    Yup….you are so right. Besides the fact that everyone’s expressions and stances look silly and rehearsed to me, why NOW would Bill even have the right to have a hand on her breast? Ah, but this is Stephen and Anna, NOT Bill and Sookie. That’s the only explanation I can rationalize…everybody is swept up by the true life romance with AS/Eric as the invader. It makes me quite sick, to be honest. This cover is TRYING to capitalize on the newfound celebrity of AS, but it falls short. Yes, he looks hot, but he always does. AP and SM pushing on each other from behind does NOTHING to me, and I feel like Alex is stuck there -perhaps he’d like some popcorn?

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    artermis Reply:

    Although I love seeing a naked ASkars as much as anyone else, I agree that the cover is laughably dumb and cheesy. In fact, I had the same yuck feeling in my mouth when I saw this Entertainment magazine cover of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart a couple of years back:

    http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=6881

    P.S. I happen to detest the Twilight series.

    [Reply]

    Crzy4Eric Reply:

    Wow, that is the worst cover photo EVER! It seriously made me laugh out loud.

    [Reply]

    Crzy4Eric Reply:

    Referring to the linked photo cover. I actually don’t mind the Rolling Stones one. Sure, it seems ill-timed because of the fact that Bill is a complete dickhead and sure, it is annoying that the show keeps pretending that the love triangle is front and center, but I think AS still looks hot and I’ll take what I can get. They are trying to get new viewers so I’m guessing they thought this would intrigue.

    [Reply]

    sheldon Reply:

    That Twilight cover just made me laugh out loud, Thanks Artemis!

    [Reply]

  • Serena

    When I look at the pic I am just isolating the Skars and trying to not look at the rest… there is something intensely off about this pic, beyond just the weird hair gel and Moyer’s Billemoface. … maybe its because it looks like Skars is about to start jackhammering? Which is highly ironic since there is hardly a love triangle ATM, or should I say sex triangle because that is what they are projecting here and we don’t gots. yet.

    I can see what you are saying about the blood/choco and Sookie being attacked SVB, but then again it is RollingStone, so I guess they’d want something borderline controversial and “water-cooler worthy.” IDK.

    My real issue is why does Moyer always look so possessive? I think that is what is disturbing. And the effort they put in to not allow Moyer to look like a legal midget… *headshaking.*

    [Reply]

    Cranky Reply:

    Clearly…a very possessive and angry vampire Bill trying to hang on to his meal ticket for dear life!

    [Reply]

  • nskars

    Something tells me her thigh is only just covering up his GP. *wiggles eyebrows* Am I right? Am I right?

    [Reply]

    BellaKarma Reply:

    That was my second reaction to the cover! ;-)

    [Reply]

    SVB Reply:

    Ha you KNOW there’s no cock sock under there you dirty girl.

    [Reply]

    NorthernSoul Reply:

    I like to think that they had to photoshop the Swede’s bits out of that pic, cuz no thigh, (or anything else) can hide the awesome presence and power that is Gracious Plenty. :-)

    [Reply]

    NorthernSoul Reply:

    OOPS…*THE* Gracious Plenty. le sigh. :-)

    [Reply]

    KPMRSE Reply:

    Completely agree surely they needed photoshop!

    [Reply]

    Serena Reply:

    Well,… I was thinking, you know.. ahem.. well,.. I don’t want to beat around the bush on this one, but I don’t think they abused photoshop much. I mean.. ahem.. the whole package has to stand on its own, you know? It wouldn’t be that hard to.. Frak, where the fuck is Penny? :lol:

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    sheldon Reply:

    I am not ashamed to say my eyes were drawn immediately to that area, lamenting the fact that AP’s thigh is blocking the goods!

    [Reply]

  • jayetea

    I like the second pic tons better. The first one doesn’t repulse me or anything; it’s an attention grabber, which was obviously the goal. AS’s hair is a little surfer dude or something, but I like the lighter color. Yeah, the blood imagery isn’t sexy to me at all in this picture.

    [Reply]

  • BrittViolicious

    Errr, I think it’s fucking hot. But I’m also into some kinky shit, so meh. haha… The pose is a little awkward, but they probably had a hard time figuring out how to show as much skin as possible while still hiding the obvious bits. Now if we could just photoshop Beel out, I would be really happy.

    [Reply]

  • I agree with Serena, the possessiveness is disturbing. And it’s why I wish Alex had another expression on his face (or looking in AP’s direction), something to counter the creepiness.

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  • Yu

    All their faces look photoshoped in or something, Anna’s butt looks bizarre and ASkars has no pubes…. Other than that, it’s a “okay” pic – not hot, really, but, well, interesting, in some a-sexual way (SOMEHOW) – but, then again, I can’t really see them as Eric-Sookie-Bill, I just see Alex-Anna-Stephen, and maybe that’s why…

    Also, Stephen’s butt is.. nonexistent? All his body parts look oddly sized (his butt, head, forearms, neck, waist). Poor Anna.

    [Reply]

  • NorthernSoul

    I don’t find this picture sexy, either. The EW shots were sexy, this one looks staged and the fake blood is cheesy. I totally agree that Alex looks like the interloper here. Just look at the body language. Usually I try to put the fact that Stephen and Anna are a real-life couple aside when I look at publicity shots, but the body language in this one just screams “we’re an item.” She and Skars are leaning away from each other (what’s with the goofy look on his face?) and SM grabbing her tit is making me feel like a voyeur. UGH.

    I’m sure Rolling Stone is going for shock value here, but guess what? It’s not. Nor is it provocative. Or cool. It’s more Cheese Whiz (or strawberry sauce) than sex, and I DO NOT get turned on by celeb PDA.

    Of course, considering the source, I’m not surprised. RS stopped being cool when it stopped being about Rock ‘n Roll and started being about pop culture and celeb T&A. Yep, I’m a disgruntled music and former RS fan, but I won’t derail this topic anymore. Needless to say, I’m probably going to skip purchasing this one.

    [Reply]

    Ashley Reply:

    I dont think she’s really leaning away from him, she’s leaning to face the camera straight on. Her other boob is definitely pressed directly against ASs chest LOL.

    [Reply]

  • Vikingvampgirl

    I hated this picture when I saw it earlier today It’s creepy and comes off like a weird bloody threesome. Since Sookie is still all “I hate Eric” on the show it makes no sense to put the three together like this. I also wanted to hand Anna a Tampon.

    [Reply]

    artermis Reply:

    LOL, right on!

    [Reply]

  • stephernutter

    My immediate reaction was “hot!”, but that’s because I was just looking at Alex. I agree with what you say SVB about it being a little inappropriate considering the recent storyline on TB, but this is Rolling Stone, not HBO promo material. I’m sure it was more about RS putting out a shocking, sexy, naked cover like Serena said.

    I don’t really have issues with it in general. I just hate the possessiveness of Stephen and the fact that they keep shoving a triangle into our faces when that absolutely isn’t happening on the show right now at all.

    I like the second picture. If it was just Alex and Anna I would like it even more…

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  • ESFAN08

    The Blood doesn’t bother me even tho i think it could have been splattered on better, or maybe them just having a couple bite marks on Anna might have been better if they wanted the Blood. I donno why they have these 3 pose the exact same in just about every Pic tho w/SM’s Arms wrapped around AP, pulling her away from AS, meanwhile AP’s Leg is wrapped around AS. I just think they need to switch up the poses get a lil more creative with them instead of doing the same ones over an over. I also dont really like their Facial expressions SM always looks the same/possesive Face, AP/AS just dont look right to me Facial expression wise. I Love that AS’s Hair is Blonde again, but dont like the way its styled in this Pic, but other then that he looks great, maybe im being to picky i donno. The second Pic i like better, except the fact that they’re all looking in different directions, an SM is again got his Arms around Anna its getting really old to be honest. I just hope when they start doing Photoshoots for next Season we get more AS/AP Pics cuz so far we’ve only gotten the TV Guide Cover with just them. It irks me to that they keep playing up the non exist Triangle in these Mags when we haven’t seen much of one hopefully that will change tho. I just find that i dont like seeing SM cuz of my hate for Bill, an SM’s constant negative comments about Eric i donno.

    [Reply]

  • jerron

    I almost hate that these two fucktards are in the same picture as Alex! Like they are stealing his light! Or at least cashing in on his fame. That kinda bothers me. Like dude you two are on the same show. Make some magic out of the 50% screen time you get and show people this true love.

    [Reply]

  • callen15

    First I though damn thats (b/c of Alex) but after reading some comments and taking a closer look at the pic I agree its odd. Alex’s head/hair looks weird, Anna’s butt looks weird, and Stephen’s is missing part of his torso or something..top half looks bigger than the bottom half, like to different bodies put together to make one…strange..

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  • Millarca

    I want a blood spatter analyst to tell us what has been happening there. Where’s Dexter when you need him? There’s blood on parts of their bodies that doesn’t seem right because of the angles. And Eric (or is it Alex? It must be Eric because why would Alex be naked with the other two, but it looks more like Alex) looks like he’s about to burst into song, not run one through her. And I think they’ve photoshopped his ‘nads out of the way, because there should be a little bit of ‘nad hanging down there. Go on, do the geometry.

    SM and AP must both be standing on a box.

    Is it really their bodies? The proportions of Alex’ head and body look wrong to me.

    Bizarre. *shakes head* Not sexy, just bizarre.

    I like the other pic though. Or I would if Bill/SM wasn’t in it; I hate that possessive expression on the Bill!weasel.

    [Reply]

  • Princess_jime

    I agree. You all said my first impressions too.
    Meh, Rolling Stone trying to be provocative but failing, imho. I’m honestly jaded about magazine covers though so…
    This is how it went for me:
    Giggles
    Then think why include eric/AS at all? there’s no love triangle! it’s wrongful advertising XD.
    Oogling at AS *heaven*
    Detailing the pic… and finding the ridiculous amount of smoothing out photoshopping.
    Then think what is it about TB and bad photoshop? seriously.

    [Reply]

    Princess_jime Reply:

    Oh! speaking of which… I sent some time ago some TB image evidence to this site:
    http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
    but they haven’t posted it… -_-*
    Anyway, that blog is awesome.
    I’d say, on this RS cover, there’s: “comping-trip-gone-awry”, “inadvertent amputation” -of Sarks privates- XD, “baroque anatomy”, “I’ll-do-it-when-I-get-back-from-the-pub” blurring, “clone-happy” choco splatters and general lameness.
    Mwahahahahahaha!

    [Reply]

  • KPMRSE

    Holy crap look at those abs!

    Sorry, where was I…I wonder when this cover was shot? The production time for a magazine, especially one like the Rolling Stone must be easily 60+ days. So this cover most likely was shot in June or earlier. They had no clue what would be happening in the storyline at time of publication. As much as it so is not in spirit with the books, AB promotes this show as a love triangle. He wouldn’t clear any story that didn’t keep to that premise. So to see the 3 together, naked in chocolate sauce? Ehhh – its better than ketchup.

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  • caitydee

    I agree with you SVB and with the other comments made here, the first picture is just gross.

    I do like the second picture because of the way AS head rests of her head in a protective way.

    After my initial disgust (towards SM/Bill possessive qualities & how I think Sookie is being exploited/represented on the show) my second reaction was “WTF is up with AS hair?!!!!”

    NOT GOOD HAIR

    [Reply]

  • Ashley

    Im alone I guess. I can easily ignore SM. Alex and Anna look hot, and i dont care about the blood. I think its cool and AS naked on the cover is enough for me, weird hair aside. Look at those abs!! And the second picture is great. Of course they have SM grabbing APs boob, but its to be expected hed be grabbing that area since they are a couple. Rolling stone likes to do the nude or barely dressed covers. And they succeeded, LOL.

    [Reply]

    Kathy Reply:

    You’re not alone. The pic doesn’t bother me. I think it’s funny. I actually like Alex’s hair, at least it’s not brill-creamed down like in the show. What else could they do with that crappy cut? And I guess I’m the only one who thinks Alex’s facial expression is very very Eric. It has that pirate look…”he’s got her now, but I’ll be her lover soon!” I do hate SM possessiveness it’s as boring as Bill’s. But I think SM’s expression is funny too, since it’s the old normal pinched in puss he uses on the show.

    What does annoy me is them promoting them as a triangle because like everyone has said, “What Triangle?”

    [Reply]

    Kathy Reply:

    Oh, and AS naked, is pretty yum if you ask me!

    [Reply]

    Kathy Reply:

    Also, I think SM & AP look weird because they airbrushed that space between her back and her arm to make her even slimmer than she is, she’s freakishly thin and they definitely air-brushed SM’s ass weirdly.

    [Reply]

    Hime Reply:

    I’m with you too! I mean… I think it’s a good pic. Not sexy, not gross either, but a good, funny, provocative shot with the clear purpose to appeal to those who aren’t into True Blood very much OR never saw it at all. I think the goal is to make clear that TB is nothing like sappy vampire stories a la Twilight, but it’s funny, bloody, outrageous and crazy… and hot.

    Anyway. Things I don’t like in this pic:
    I don’t like AS’s hair. I feel there’s a photoshop abuse in it, but I’ll let it pass. And I certainly don’t appreciate the fact that they are promoting a triangle that is obviously non-existent… (but I hope this state of things is gonna change next episode… ;) ).
    Oh, and I don’t get why they would have re-created the same pose of the EW’s photoshoot. There’s a love story between AP’s left thigh and AS’ crotch, perhaps.
    But whatever. I think the pic serves its purpose: insisting of the idea of the bloody hot triangle (even if there’s no trace of it in the show, but it’s a good beginning however, and it sells) and giving us some Skarsporn. I guess I’ll be fine with it. LOL.

    PS: SM’s neck looks like Hulk’s. WTF.

    [Reply]

  • northmanfan

    The nekkidness is good. :-) I love looking at the curve/indentation along a man’s inguinal ligament. Other than that, meh. I think it’s hard to get blood right.

    [Reply]

  • Sara

    I think part of it is that Stephen and Anna are a couple. Anna seems to cling to Stephen like a little girl, and Stephen likes to flaunt their relationship with the press. It’s a match made in heaven.

    It’s obvious Stephen/Anna want the attention kept on them that way the relationship between Beel and Sookie continues. I had a friend who went to ComicCon last year and she said they were all over selling the idea of Beel and Sookie remaining in a relationship, even stating that they wanted the characters to remain together otherwise they wouldn’t be able to see each other. When she mentioned Eric, Stephen said something along the lines of well, the books and show are two different things.

    [Reply]

  • Katee

    There is something strange about the photoshopping in this photo. Everybody looks a little off. Anna looks especially wrong. Obviously Alex is pleasant to look at but I don’t love this cover.

    [Reply]

    Katee Reply:

    I said “photoshopping” but I meant “airbrushing” Although I think they may have imposed Steve’s head from another shot just like what happened in this horrible Britney Spears Cosmo cover where they chopped off her neck: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2010/07/britney-spears-covers-cosmopolitan-forbids-kids-from-entertainme/

    Also Steve’s upper torso looks a little too hulked up for his lower half. Way more disproportionate than it normally looks. I think they did stuff to this picture.

    [Reply]

  • VampirePamsGirl

    Wait, wait, wait. There are people besides ASkars in that picture? Well, damn I guess that’s where that offending thigh came from huh? Somebody should really do something about that thing, it messed up a good photo op for GP!

    It didn’t really bother me either cause I just ignore AP and SM and focus on the beauty that is ASkars’ body. (If I could do a drool icon, I’d put it here). I love that man’s V. It’s like a rainbow promising a pot of gold at the end.

    [Reply]

    sheldon Reply:

    VPM, yes, we need a drool smilie/emoticon! Although I forsee people not typing out their comments on AS/Eric anymore, just inserting multiple drool emoticons instead…it could stunt the discussion :)

    [Reply]

    EricObsessed Reply:

    hahahaha VPG! That’s exactly what I was going to say! I don’t think I have any idea what everyone is talking about because I’ve got my Skars-goggles on and I haven’t seen but one person in that photo and he looks HOT! And is there gore or something going on? I hadn’t noticed!

    And yeah, they had to have had AP/SM stand on something, to even out the height differences. LOL!

    [Reply]

  • SouthernSugar

    I was happy to see blond hair on AS myself. I can only hope he has his blondness back for S4.

    [Reply]

  • sheldon

    Other than my inital gleeful reaction to Askars being nekkid, it falls flat.
    It comes off as forced sexy and doesn’t ring true.

    Now the EW photoshoot before the season premiere, when AS/AP/SM were shot together was much more sexy, playful and fuelled many a fangirl vampich fantasy….

    [Reply]

  • VikingLover

    Oh crap, I didn’t even realize there was anyone else in this photo other than AS! Ha! The only thing that bothered me about this photo (other than what seems to be some really horrible PS) is the impression (the VERY WRONG impression) that there is currently a love triangle on this show. We all know that really isn’t the case. Maybe if this had been released during S4, where there possibly will truly be a love triangle, it would have been different but right now it’s misleading. I really hate all this love triangle bullshit they’re spewing. Anyhooo, AS naked is always a good thing in my opinion. :) Dude should be naked at all times. heee heee!! I do prefer the second photo though. His chest peeking out of that unbuttoned black shirt….good GOD! *whew* Anyhooo, I agree with someone who said this cover must have been shot quite a while a go and they probably didn’t know where the storyline was going. I don’t know that they would have been told specifics since I think that is kept under wraps. But I do agree that the timing was bad given all that has occurred.

    [Reply]

  • liv

    The article isn’t that great either. There’s a write up about the actors but not much about the season. The writer obviously prefers Steve/Bill mainly because SM is a better interviewee, he’s openly blabbing about sex and his relationship with Anna, while AS politely refuses. So Eric is evil and S/A, B/S have a great relationship. meh.

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  • kitekat

    Like most of you after the initial “Wow” factor wore off, and having a good look at it definitely agree its not that hot. From the neck down ASkars looks as delectable as always but the facial expression(apart from the Skarsbrow) and the hair are blah!! AP doesnt look too bad although her mid section looks too tiny and SM must be on stilts so as to be the same height as AS. And did anyone notice the ear stud SM is wearing. Only stud I can see in the picture is ASkars. Sorry I know I am biased, but hey everyone to their own….

    [Reply]

  • DutchGirl

    I am that person who was completely unaware of these photo’s *holds head in shame*
    But now I have had chance to study the subjects so to speak. I must admit once I got over the oo they’re all nekkid and covered in something, my eyes then wondered over to Alex’s thighs ! I agree some airbrushing must have gone on there.. But what is going on with his facial experssion !? He has a real duh face on, which is a shame because he has such a nice smile !
    2nd photo you just need to chop of Stephen Moyer and then there you have Eric and Sookie aww, lovely..
    I shall go and oogle some more

    [Reply]

  • FaninAL

    I had completely missed the Skarsbrow until someone posted a closeup. It’s awesome! The fake ketchup/chocolate/mustard combo is way distracting, though.

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  • SusanMy

    I’m pretty much OK with this cover, although I like the article photo MUCH better. The thing that really annoys is this need to make SM look about eight inches taller than he actually is. I find myself thinking about what AP & SM had to stand on to make either of them come up anywhere higher than AS’s nipples. The man is a tall, cool drink of water–a fact that should be embraced even if there IS another man involved in the photo shoot.

    ITA w/AS having dumb hair on the cover, but yes, at least it isn’t dark anymore. I like the way AP’s arm is wrapped around his waist, but AS’s face in the other shot is really the loveliest thing. Again, however, my mind wanders to how, HOW the hell they dared make SM actually look taller than AS *mutters profanities*.

    I love my tall men. Didn’t marry one, but love ‘em nonetheless. Stop making AS scrunch down!

    [Reply]

  • TeamEric

    I never thought that a pic of Skars covered in what looks like chocolate sauce would cause me to have a WTF moment… pic is just plain bad. and yes, i am also guilty of looking longingly with hope that somehow my willing it will get AP thigh to move.

    [Reply]

  • kiki

    so…has anyone seen this photoshop hilarity: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/0903/calcium_yeah/EricBillRS.jpg? i mean, the original is funny/bad enough that this is sort of an improvement.

    [Reply]

    VikingLover Reply:

    Hahahahaha! This is actually HILARIOUS! hahahaha!

    [Reply]

    Davida Reply:

    I can’t stop laughing at this.

    [Reply]

    Millarca Reply:

    This is inspired. *gigglesnort*

    [Reply]

  • gee

    That cover photo is so badly airbrushed/ photoshopped – it has to be one of the worst I’ve ever seen. It could be a made up image even. It looks like both AP and AS’s heads came from other photos and AP’s leg is too long, her waist has disappeared (as has SM’s butt), AS and SM have both lost parts of their fingers, I could go on. It’s no wonder it strikes us as weird.
    I like the other photo better but even on that SM has had major airbrush work, all his forehead wrinkles are gone as are the lines on his neck etc.(and to be fair they tidied AS’s eye’s up a bit too).
    The standing on a box so SM looks as tall as AS is just the usual thing they always do.

    [Reply]

  • Davida

    Anna is the luckiest woman alive!

    [Reply]

  • FemmeScorpio

    glad to know i wasn’t the only one who doesn’t like this photo. they’re trying to sell true blood’s eric sookie bill, but wooops… they put anna and steve on the cover.

    that photo screams anna & stephen and askars is the 3rd wheel.

    they’re even trying to subliminally shoving beehl & sookeh down our throats.

    the only way i’d buy that cover was if it was just askars. or one with him and pam… but not them nekid together. something like the wonder twins or something because THEY ROCK!!

    i just pray to whatever’s up there that they never put sookie with eric. she sucks all the hot from any guy she does a scene with.

    [Reply]

  • Sara

    Well, now that Stephen and Anna are married, we get to hear, all the “oh I wonder how this is going to change True Blood now that Anna won’t be able to do sex scenes with anyone else” Bull sheet. Just one more thing to take the attention off the show and put it on them as a couple.

    [Reply]

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