Way back when, we had Sookie’s “quivering puppies waiting to be petted”.
Then, we had Eric as “deep inside as he could get without an operation”.
And now…NOW…we have this. Sookie’s latest hilarious attempt at worshipping the GP, which I hereby induct into Sookieverse canon as the most cringeworthy line in Book 10.
Are you ready? Here it comes.
“That looks painful. Do you want me to NURSE IT?”
Sookie, my love. The Gracious Plenty is not a fucking disease. You don’t nurse it. You GET ON THAT pronto. Stop asking stupid questions.
Three years of hot vampire sex, and you still sound like a virgin on prom night.
Ten books down, and your sex scenes are still like bad 70′s porn – I hear the music, I know what’s coming….and I still can’t tear myself away.
But I still love you. Both of you.
And now I go back to trying to cut my review of DITF down to a length you guys can read without taking a day off work.
Sorry, I needed a distraction.