Why Sam is not The Man

November 10, 2009 in Character & Plot Analysis, Sam Merlotte, Sookie Stackhouse

I’m going to come right out and say it. I have very little respect for Sam and I will absolutely spit chips if he is Sookie’s happy ending. Yes, I think he’s a Nice Guy. But even if the Viking was DEAD (you know…properly dead), I still wouldn’t be feeling it with Sam.

I am not buying Sam as Sookie’s happy ending in any make, shape or form.

Sam has done nothing to earn Sookie’s love
Sam has done little more in the books than whine about Sookie putting herself in danger, whine about her choice in men, and then sit around waiting for her to fall into his lap. He’s a lurker – less creepy in his lurking than Bill, but a lurker nonetheless. Sam’s a sweet guy, but can someone please tell me why he would deserve Sookie choosing him after everything that she has experienced? He had 5 years to make his move before Bill showed up. He didn’t. Then she suddenly became the supe version of a porn star, and still he has not had the balls to go after her with any conviction. What is wrong with him? There is a reason that his animal of choice is a dog when he shifts, and I’m not buying that it’s because most people like big puppy dog eyes. Dogs also put up with alot of shit for no return.  And while we’re on the subject of the proverbial, where is Sam when it hits the fan? He is almost never there.

If Sam is going to be the HEA, Charlaine needs to get this boy busy. He has been sitting on his backside pulling beers for nine books, while everyone else has practically killed themselves for Sookie. And I’m supposed to believe that he is worthy of her? Give me a break. Eric, Bill, Quinn, Calvin and even Alcide, have all stuck their necks out to save this woman’s bacon at some point. But not Sam. Nuh-uh. Yet I am supposed to take him seriously as a suitor? No Ms Harris, I will not. You have to show me more.

Sam is A Plant
From a story-telling perspective, I wonder if Sam’s role in this story is to provide an option for the readers who cannot accept the logistics of a long term human/vampire relationship – no matter who the vampire is. They wouldn’t invest in Eric, they wouldn’t invest in Bill…they wouldn’t invest in anything dead. The ageing issue, and the children issue are deal breakers for these readers. Sam provides an obvious solution to both of these dilemmas and keeps these readers invested in the story.

On my tin foil hat days, I wonder also if Sam is a plant – literally. Eric seems to know an awful lot about what goes on in Sookie’s life during the day and he also seems to show up at the oddest moments (like every time she lands her sorry arse in the hospital after yet another beating). We all know there is no love lost between Sam and Eric, but they have also shown that they are both capable of sucking it up where Sookie is concerned.   Is there is a reason Charlaine has all of these supes and weirdos showing up to see Sookie at work?  Is there a reason so much plot seems to play out at Merlottes, and especially in that goddamn parking lot?  It has bad mojo, and if I were Sookie I wouldn’t be setting one foot out there anymore without an armed guard.  OK I will grant you this theory is a bit out there. But seriously – how the hell does Eric know half of what he does about who comes to visit her and what is going on in her life?  There are too many examples of it to list – perhaps it’s another post – but I’m sure he has a man on the ground, and this has been going on since before the blood bond.

Sam can’t watch Sookie’s back

This one is a major problem for Sam. Let’s take stock of where Sookie stands right now. Her reputation as a telepath is universally known amongst both supes and humans. Also widely known in the supe world is the fact that her great grandfather is Head Honcho el Fae, she is the ongoing obsession and Achilles heel of a vampire sheriff to whom she is blood bonded, and she has a influential shifter of rock star status pursuing her to boot. She is in tight with the King of Nevada and his peeps. Let’s face it – our girl has a Rep. She is submerged in this world up to her neck, and she will never be able to just walk away from it. She doesn’t want to walk away from it either – for the first time in her life she is important instead of crazy to those around her. She likes the ego stroke, and the work she does appeals to her “inner helper”. Nope, the best Sookie can hope for is to find a way to live within this world safely, and to retain as much control as possible over her own life while doing so.

Sam has professed a sheer loathing for politics and he is not at all happy about Sookie’s involvement with the supe world in general. He could never stand beside her in the life she is destined to lead. And he doesn’t have the resources, the contacts or the wits to watch her back while she lives that sort of life either.

He dates women who have it in for Sookie
Callisto? Oh yes, that was a sound decision. Why not encourage the maenad that almost killed Sookie in the woods and then tried to send her bonkers.
Tanya? A spy sent by Debbie Pelt’s parents, in an attempt to get Sookie to slip that she committed a murder. Way to impress the object of your affections Sam – date women who want to do her in or get her thrown in jail. Not strong points in your favour.

Sookie doesn’t need Sam’s sperm donation
“Sookie wants babies” is apparently the deal breaker for her being with a vampire – and by inference the strongest point in Sam’s favour.
Sookie is many things – but she is not recklessly irresponsible. Particularly when it comes to family. Sookie’s notoriety within the supernatural community means that she might as well paint a target on the kids forehead and sit them in the middle of Club Dead for some supe to come and claim. Her children will never be safe, and they will make her vulnerable as well. Does she really want children anyway? Or is it just that before her life took the turn it did, she thought children and marriage was the most she could aspire to as a small town barmaid? Much has changed since that Sookie was calling the shots, and in the later books she hasn’t been clucking like she used to. Sorry folks, there will be no itty bitty booties for our girl. Which brings me to….

Hunter – the kid with substitute child written all over him
From the moment Hunter, Sookie’s telepathic nephew by her cousin Hadley – appeared on the page, Team Pro-Vampire sat up and took notice. Here we have a child with Sookie’s abilities, a dead mother, and a father who clearly has no freaking idea what he has on his hands…much less how to defend him until he is old enough to take care of himself. This child is already a target – albeit a dormant one for now, and he already needs protection. Taking on Hunter is a far cry from making the decision to bring a child of her own into the dangerous world she inhabits.

My prediction – towards the end of the series, Remy will die (possibly defending Hunter from a kidnap attempt or worse once he ends up on the supe radar), and Sookie will spend a whole book tracking him down and hunting Remy’s killer. Sookie will then take Hunter in. Don’t you think that would make a nice parallel – the orphaned telepath takes on another orphaned telepath to raise and protect? I like it, but it can’t happen until the end. Sookie can’t be running around trying to get herself killed and screwing hot viking vampires on her kitchen table at all hours with a 4 year old in the house *snicker*.

I guess my overall problem with the idea of Sookie and Sam is that I’ve really seen nothing to convince me that either of them genuinely want each other in that “I have to have you” kind of way. Sam just feels like settling to me, when Sookie’s life and her destiny are calling for so much more from her. It would just feel like one big fat let down – like she went through all of those experiences only to end up where she started, and yet not really having come “full circle”. I want to see her grow and evolve as a person, embrace her talents, and be appreciated for them. Sookie is too much woman for Sam to handle, and I think he knows it.

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